Reply To: Re: JOKES TOPIC

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Little Red Riding Hood is driving her bicycle thorugh the forest, when suddenly a wolf attacks her, breaks the bicycle and escapes. She starts crying. Here comes a bear and asks what happened. After she told him, bear chases a wolf and wants him to weld the bicycle.

The same thing repeats through the following weeks, but, finally, she luckily arrives to her grandmother’s home. But still there’s sth wrong…

She asks her grandmother:

-My grandmother, why are your ears so big ?

-To hear you better, honey.

-And why is your nose so big ?

-To feel you better, honey.

-But, why the hell are your eyes so red ?

-From welding, shit, from welding!

 

 

Little Red Riding Hood is walking through the forest and she’s not able to find a wolf. She went to its hole and she started screaming, that the kids are waiting for the fairytale and so on, and so on…

Finally, the wolf speaks to her, with its sleepy voice:

-Ah, leave me alone! All night I was dancing with Kevin Costner.

 

 

Speedy Gonzalez is playing with a woman (woman, who has a husband) at her home, when, suddenly, there’s some knocking at the door. Gonzalez gets out of the bed immediately and escapes through the window and an unfaithful wife comes to the door.

-Who’s that ?

-It’s me, Speedy Gonzalez – behind the door this voice can be heard. – I forgot my socks.

 

 

Second World War. Two guys (named Joe and Leo, for example) are escaping from the Germans. They hid in the barn, where they found cow’s skin and they decided to dress up as a cow. Joe stood at the front, Leo – at the back. The Germans arrive to the barn, they see the cow and they think they need food for an army. One of them says:

-This cow is thin, isn’t it ?

-Yes! It must be fed – the second one says.

They decided to bring a sack of wheat. Joe says to Leo:

-Leo, they bring the sack of wheat!

-Eat, Joe, eat, ’cause we’re lost!

So Joe ate it.

The Germans carry another sack of wheat.

-Leo, they bring another sack of wheat!

-Eat, Joe, eat, ’cause we’re lost!

So Joe ate it.

The Germans carry a bucket of water.

-Leo, they bring a bucket filled with water!

-Drink, Joe, drink, ’cause we’re lost!

Joe looks at the Germans and, suddenly, he starts laughing.

Leo asks:

-Why are you laughing ?

Joe says:

-Hang on tight, Leo, hang on tight, ’cause they are coming with a bull!

 

 

A wife had an argument with her husband and they didn’t say anything to each other. They only were writing letters with the orders, e.g. “take out the rubbish”, “iron the clothes” etc. One time, husband prepares a letter for his wife: “Wake me up at 5. AM, ’cause I have to get up early”.

He wakes up, takes a look on his watch – 9. AM. Then he takes a look at his cupboard and sees a letter: “Get up, pal, it’s 5. AM”.

 

:cheer: