Reply To: Re: JOKES TOPIC

new jokes friends :

 

It was the mailman’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift certificate envelope.

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine imported cigars.

The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At each of the houses along his route, he was met with congratulations, farewells, cards, and gifts of all types and values.

At the final house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful young blonde in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where they had a most passionate liaison.

Afterwards, they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice.

When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup’s bottom edge.

“All this was just too wonderful for words,” he said, “…..but what’s the dollar for?”

“Well,” she said, “Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you?”

He said, “…Scr*w him ………give him a dollar.”

The blonde then blushed and said, “….But the breakfast was my idea.”

 

 

 

A priest and a shepherd from Australia participate in a TV game. After answering all the questions, there is a tie. So both are given one final assignment. It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word “Timbuktu”. It is city in Africa.

 

The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration:

 

“I was a father all my life,

I had no children, had no wife,

I read the bible through and through

on my way to Timbuktu … “

 

The poem makes a great impression, and the priest smells a sweet victory. But then comes the shepherd, with his winning masterpiece:

 

“When Tim and I to Brisbane went

We met three women cheap to rent.

They were three and we were two,

So I booked one and Tim Booked Two … “

 

 

 

warning d*rty joke :

[spoiler:3sg5nplv]A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary.

As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?”

The husband replied, “All I wanted to do was to f*ck your brains out, and suck your tits dry.”

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, “What are you thinking now?”

He replied, “It looks as if I did a pretty good job.”[/spoiler:3sg5nplv]

 

 

P.S.:if you haven’t read the last pages of this topic you should because i think there are the best jokes especialy the NASA-rusia joke

P.P.S:i ask again….just give me a sign that you read this so i should now if i need to post more or not ” data-emoticon=”” srcset=”/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/tongue@2x.png 2x” width=”20″ height=”20″> :cheer: :cheer: