Reply To: Re: JOKES TOPIC

-I’m very nervous. There’s a big rain outside and my wife is not at home…

-Don’t worry, she will hide in some shopping mall…

-That’s what I’m afraid of…

 

I never take my husband for a fashion show – woman says to her friend. – That’s very troublesome for both of us: when I’m thinking about new dress, he’s thinking about new wife…

 

At the train platform there are husband and wife standing. He looks at the leaving train and speaks to his wife:

-If you were ready, we wouldn’t miss that train.

-And if you weren’t hurrying me, we wouldn’t have to wait for the next train for a long time…

 

-Mum, today at my maths lesson teacher praised me!

-That’s good, but what did he say ?

-He said that we’re all idiots and I’m the bigger one!

 

Dad bought a train model for his son John for his birthday. He left him in his room in order to let him enjoy his gift. In the meantime, dad was in other room. After a while, he hears that from his son’s room can be heard:

-Get in, damn, get in!

Dad runs to his room and tells him that he can’t play with his gift for an hour. He gets out of the room. 15 minutes – silence… 30 minutes – still silence in his room… 40 minutes – silence, dad is happy; his son is obedient… 50 minutes – silence…

One hour gone. Then from his room can be heard:

-Get in, damn, get in! ‘Cause this bastard caused one hour delay!

 

Christmas are coming, but in John’s family there isn’t much money. He writes a letter to Santa Claus.

“Dear Santa Claus, I’m very poor, but I’d like to get Lego, ball and a train model.”

Women, who were working in the post office don’t know what to do, ’cause he didn’t write his address. They open a letter and they feel so moved, so they decide to but these things. Since the post office workers don’t earn so much, it was enough to buy Lego and a ball only. They send it to John. After some time, a letter from John comes – and women in the post office open it and read:

“Dear Santa Claus, thank you for these wonderful gifts, but this train model was taken away by these mean women from the post office!”

 

Two retired doctors are sitting on the bench in a park and they are remembering old times. Suddenly, they see a guy, who’s approaching them. He has his knees bent and joined, arms stuck to the body, hands clasped and pulled out to the front.

-Do you think you could diagnose him ? – one of the men asks – I bet 100$ that he had an outflow.

-I bet 200$ that he has an arthritis. Should we ask him ? – the second one says.

Before they make it, he approached himself and asked:

-Excuse me, is there any toilet around here ?

 

 

 

Well, that’s the end of my jokes. Sadly, I won’t have so much time to write in this thread. Maybe I’ll post sth at other time. See you then ” data-emoticon=”” srcset=”/wp-content/uploads/invision_emoticons/smile@2x.png 2x” width=”20″ height=”20″>